“Stop The Violence”

This blog took a while because of the mass murders in California overwhelmed me. I thought that if I could just hold off the hurt and pain for what the families were feeling I was getting better, but then on Friday I had a reality check at Walmart. Yes, that’s right at Walmart?. When I decided that I was going to spend 10 minutes with my late son You see I lost a son in 2002 to one of these senseless murders. I learned how to send people away quietly when they say mean hateful things like “…When are you going to get over that…” Or, the ones that try to tell you that “…You have memories…”, but on those hard days memories are just not enough. On Friday I decided to go to Walmart to buy a box of frozen Spinach for lunch to eat with some fish sticks not my favorite, but my late son loved eating those two things together. So in honor of my late son Ron Anthony Friday lunch nursery school days. Simply stated: I just wanted to enjoy that 10-minute meal, but there was not one box of frozen Spinach in the freezer just like that I became a victim again. I had a slow motion a meltdown, and a strange woman could see in my face I was struggling with something, with a few kind words, and an eye check of the freezer with me that kind woman talked me off of that ledge.  I am sure that friends/family mean well but I just don’t have it in me to feel any sorrier for anyone’s life than my own running the race of having to bury a child before myself is just like that scene from the 1990’s movie Jacob’s Latter” He was a causality of war, but his soul was in unrest and he just kept fighting the inevitable of his soul departing from his body. So he was caught up in his own living hell the demons of his past trying to right so many wrongs. The situations that he thought were evil turned out to be angels trying to help him download to leap into the next life. Although with the passing of time the terrors are fewer and far in-between of my stolen identity a mother of two, and now when people ask me How?! many children I sadly respond, “…One…”  . That may be my jaded coping skills kicking in more, but I am far from letting go of the fact that I will carry my late son’s blood cells in my body for the rest of my life. So, What I realized is that God or the Universe is so loving and kind that there will be one person to love on you through it all never judging, or being condescending, just look deep into your soul and send out all of the love and kindness that can only be imagined these people know who they are, and they never falter in that conviction can’t forget the lukewarm water family/friends, while looking into  your face you only see the back of their heads, expose pretty little liars, and backstabbers is what comes out of this kind of pain and suffering in the loss of a child. So I wrote this blog because I learned some of these lessons the hard way. I stay close to my community other Mother’s/Queens that have suffered the same tragedy. As did the” Blessed Mother”, who watched while her son crucified, died, and was buried.  Beware because “Jacob’s Ladder” don’t discriminate is not just for the Mother’s/Queen’s that have lost children the judgmental people are climbing that ladder of good and evil, and to the Mother’s/Queens we are called to give Compassion, Understanding, and Respect  which can be a struggle, but we have to dig really deep down inside to find that spirit. To the Mother’s/Queens that have tragically lost children When people tell you to get over the tragedy, I say, “…Tell judgmental friends/family to get over it for you,, so I can get other things done in my life…” See how that works for family and friends!!!. In closing Mother’s/Queens “Pack Light for the Journey” . I can assure you the excess baggage (people, places, and things) are going to get in your way. Pray 4 Peace…

 

Categories: California

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