In the past when I had Victories over the years many of them were short lived. Why? I have been reflecting over my past as, I am rewriting my life 3.5 essay taking a positive or negative stand. So, that I can better support my thesis or main idea. I am coming up with a conclusion that; I had not figured out ways to control my own emotions. Possibly because; I was still dealing with the residuals of codependency issues, due to my need to control situations. In my younger years; I was anal retentive just happens with the routine rote experiences that comes with the daily Roller Coaster climb ride sounds. The untamed emotions are like that up and down, in and out, inconsistencies that are train wrecks. Reinventing yourself is a hell of a lot easier than trying to hold back the Mississippi river with your own hands…Impossible… Chewing glass might be easier! It is no gray area either “Yeah” or “Nah” Black or white. I made the mistake of thinking that I could hover over gray areas not wanting to offend or hurt people feelings. But then, I would get really angry, and overact because I was not following my own intuition deep down inside, I always knew what was the right thing to do. Obedience is far greater than sacrifice…(Bible) If you want to come up with egg on your face put other people feelings first. I was at an event a couple years ago, and I met a friend that is an author. She was writing a book about the “Funeral Club”. Where people went to funerals to find new victims to feast on. Parasites in life and death…Fungus don’t die it just spread. (lol). Meanwhile, I am soaking and cleaning off my paint brushes bliss bound.