Living ageless and Insecurities

Where does insecurities end? And where does insecurities begin? In the immediate environment where we begin to write our own story, measuring our successes up to the rest of the siblings, family, and friends. But no one taught you how? To deal with falling short of what is expected setting a stage, for a defeat and/or self-doubt mentality, which becomes a dirty little secret stoic on the outside, but the inside become an internal storm that gets hidden in the recesses of the mind. However, insecurity continues to rear its ugly head all through life leaving very little room to feel comfortable in your own skin. I learned about the imposter syndrome in Psychology which is a continuum of a borderline personality disorder. The trauma of some matter or ordeal that was not so favorable left a sore spot, and a split in the personality leads to hidden agendas of what is seen on the outside, and nowhere near what is going on in the inside.  Self-acceptance is a possible way to identify the different mood swings, and over compensations of joy, and happiness to smother the ugly parts of self. I use to have inappropriate laughter, but as I continued to identify what was happening with me inappropriate laughter went away with the passing of time. I have met some people that were unnaturally sweet and kind, but something in me felt uncomfortable because the over compensation was so extreme. They probably were best off laying on some Psychiatrist couch bawling their eyes out. For instance, two sisters both molested by the mom’s boyfriend. Yet, one was living a riotous lifestyle drugs, alcohol, promiscuity etc.…The other sister was very quiet and docile. However, when given a chance to speak on behalf of their mom not keeping them safe. Right? The most aggressive with words was the little quiet sister. She managed to create a believable imposter syndrome quiet persona, to present to the world, but the anger and rage that was buried in her soul told the true story.  

No more falling on the insecurity swords…

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